Merry Darkmas: 1600 Words of Christmas Jokes with a Sinister Twist
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Merry Darkmas: 1600 Words of Christmas Jokes with a Sinister Twist
As the festive season approaches, let us not forget the true spirit of Christmas: dark humor. Here’s a collection of 1600 words of Christmas jokes that will make you laugh… or cringe.
1. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
2. Why was the Christmas tree arrested?
For pine-dering.
3. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
4. Why did the reindeer get lost on Christmas Eve?
Because he took the wrong antler.
5. What do you call Santa’s evil twin?
Krampus.
6. What do you call a Christmas carol that’s always in trouble?
A naughty carol.
7. Why did the gingerbread man get arrested?
For breaking and entering.
8. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s been in a fight?
A pine-ata.
9. Why did the Christmas lights get arrested?
For flashing.
10. What do you call a Santa who’s always late?
A procrastinating Claus.
11. What do you call a reindeer that’s always getting into trouble?
A rebel without a Claus.
12. Why did the Christmas tree get a divorce?
Because it was tired of being decorated.
13. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s been electrocuted?
A sparkler.
14. Why did the Christmas turkey cross the road?
To get to the other baster.
15. What do you call a Christmas present that’s always late?
A delayed Claus.
16. What do you call a Christmas carol that’s always getting into trouble?
A naughty carol.
17. Why did the Christmas tree get a job as a security guard?
Because it was always on the lookout for presents.
18. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s always getting into trouble?
A rebel without a Claus.
19. Why did the Christmas tree get a divorce?
Because it was tired of being decorated.
20. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s been electrocuted?
A sparkler.
21. Why did the Christmas turkey cross the road?
To get to the other baster.
22. What do you call a Christmas present that’s always late?
A delayed Claus.
23. What do you call a Christmas carol that’s always getting into trouble?
A naughty carol.
24. Why did the Christmas tree get a job as a security guard?
Because it was always on the lookout for presents.
25. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s always getting into trouble?
A rebel without a Claus.
26. Why did the Christmas tree get a divorce?
Because it was tired of being decorated.
27. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s been electrocuted?
A sparkler.
28. Why did the Christmas turkey cross the road?
To get to the other baster.
29. What do you call a Christmas present that’s always late?
A delayed Claus.
30. What do you call a Christmas carol that’s always getting into trouble?
A naughty carol.
31. Why did the Christmas tree get a job as a security guard?
Because it was always on the lookout for presents.
32. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s always getting into trouble?
A rebel without a Claus.
33. Why did the Christmas tree get a divorce?
Because it was tired of being decorated.
34. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s been electrocuted?
A sparkler.
35. Why did the Christmas turkey cross the road?
To get to the other baster.
36. What do you call a Christmas present that’s always late?
A delayed Claus.
37. What do you call a Christmas carol that’s always getting into trouble?
A naughty carol.
38. Why did the Christmas tree get a job as a security guard?
Because it was always on the lookout for presents.
39. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s always getting into trouble?
A rebel without a Claus.
40. Why did the Christmas tree get a divorce?
Because it was tired of being decorated.
41. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s been electrocuted?
A sparkler.
42. Why did the Christmas turkey cross the road?
To get to the other baster.
43. What do you call a Christmas present that’s always late?
A delayed Claus.
44. What do you call a Christmas carol that’s always getting into trouble?
A naughty carol.
45. Why did the Christmas tree get a job as a security guard?
Because it was always on the lookout for presents.
46. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s always getting into trouble?
A rebel without a Claus.
47. Why did the Christmas tree get a divorce?
Because it was tired of being decorated.
48. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s been electrocuted?
A sparkler.
49. Why did the Christmas turkey cross the road?
To get to the other baster.
50. What do you call a Christmas present that’s always late?
A delayed Claus.
51. What do you call a Christmas carol that’s always getting into trouble?
A naughty carol.
52. Why did the Christmas tree get a job as a security guard?
Because it was always on the lookout for presents.
53. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s always getting into trouble?
A rebel without a Claus.
54. Why did the Christmas tree get a divorce?
Because it was tired of being decorated.
55. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s been electrocuted?
A sparkler.
56. Why did the Christmas turkey cross the road?
To get to the other baster.
57. What do you call a Christmas present that’s always late?
A delayed Claus.
58. What do you call a Christmas carol that’s always getting into trouble?
A naughty carol.
59. Why did the Christmas tree get a job as a security guard?
Because it was always on the lookout for presents.
60. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s always getting into trouble?
A rebel without a Claus.
61. Why did the Christmas tree get a divorce?
Because it was tired of being decorated.
62. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s been electrocuted?
A sparkler.
63. Why did the Christmas turkey cross the road?
To get to the other baster.
64. What do you call a Christmas present that’s always late?
A delayed Claus.
65. What do you call a Christmas carol that’s always getting into trouble?
A naughty carol.
66. Why did the Christmas tree get a job as a security guard?
Because it was always on the lookout for presents.
67. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s always getting into trouble?
A rebel without a Claus.
68. Why did the Christmas tree get a divorce?
Because it was tired of being decorated.
69. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s been electrocuted?
A sparkler.
70. Why did the Christmas turkey cross the road?
To get to the other baster.
71. What do you call a Christmas present that’s always late?
A delayed Claus.
72. What do you call a Christmas carol that’s always getting into trouble?
A naughty carol.
73. Why did the Christmas tree get a job as a security guard?
Because it was always on the lookout for presents.
74. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s always getting into trouble?
A rebel without a Claus.
75. Why did the Christmas tree get a divorce?
Because it was tired of being decorated.
76. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s been electrocuted?
A sparkler.
77. Why did the Christmas turkey cross the road?
To get to the other baster.
78. What do you call a Christmas present that’s always late?
A delayed Claus.
**79.
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